Oh, what a joyful confluence of events. I refer, of course, to the barney between Fleetwood Town manager, Joey Barton, and South Yorkshire police, not the alleged barney between Joey Barton and the Barnsley manager, Daniel Stendel, who, apparently, was left with fewer teeth than when he began the day. Let us just say that South Yorkshire police have a less than glistening history.
And it’s this constabulary that should surely be charged with grievous bodily harm to the English language for this, according to one report: “Officers received a report of an assault at Barnsley FC. This incident has been crimed and will be thoroughly investigated.” Crimed? What sort of extraordinary creature dreamed up that one? If I were Barton, I would plead innocence in the face of irredeemable abuse of English. Come on, plod, up your game.
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